What is Survivors of Incest Anonymous?
Survivors of Incest Anonymous is a 12-step recovery program that is for individuals who are recovering from the consequences of childhood sexual abuse. It is a program designed for people of all races, ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations and more, as long as they are over the age of 18. Anyone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse is welcome, regardless of what type of abuse they experienced; nobody is judged on whether or not their abuse was “too severe” or “wasn’t bad enough.” While other groups can be recommended for other sexual abuse trauma, Survivors of Incest Anonymous focuses on survivor issues only.
When was it founded?
The organization began in January 1982 when three women had gathered together to discuss the childhood sexual abuse they had experienced, which was done to them by a memberAn individual who attends 12-step program meetings and has the desire to overcome addiction. of their families. Because they had experience and success with other 12-step groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, they decided to utilize the 12-step model to begin healing themselves and moving beyond their histories. From that day forward, they had formed the group of Survivors of Incest Anonymous.
Today, the group has meetings available all over the United States and in over a dozen countries worldwide. The group’s most notable mention was in a “Dear Abby” letter that was published in 1984, which mentioned Survivors of Incest Anonymous. After receiving attention from a national audience, during the 1980s and 1990s, members from the group began making anonymous appearances on many popular talk shows, including “Geraldo,” “Sallie Jessie Raphael,” and more. As new members join the organization year after year, more literature is developed including “12 StepsThe term "12 steps" refers to the core principles of the approach to addiction exemplified by Alcoholics Anonymous and other similar groups. The 12 steps are a set of guidelines designed to help individuals overcome addiction and rebuild their lives. They were created by the founders of Alcoholics A... & 12 Traditions,” “The RecoveryThe process by which addicts attempt to break the hold a certain substance or behavior has on their lives. This can refer to participation in a wide variety of methods. What they all have in common, is a sense that life is improving and the addict is regaining control. Process,” and more. Along with the literature already published, Survivors of Incest Anonymous is slowly working to publish their own “Big BookThe basic text of AA was the first to methodically introduce the 12-steps. It is still the main source for meetings and is quoted in just about all AA and other 12-step literature. the Library of Congress named it one of the 88 “Books that shaped America.” Read more about the Big Book of AA.,” similar to the one available in Alcoholics Anonymous.
How does Survivors of Incest Anonymous work?
One of the most important things for existing and new members of the programThis refers to any official course of treatment for addiction. This could be anything from in-patient facilities, to 12-step programs to harm-reduction programs. to understand is that they are never alone and what has happened to them in the past is not their fault. The goal of Survivors of Incest Anonymous is to help guide individuals who have survived childhood sexual trauma onto the road of recovery to begin their healing process. Without dealing with the issues that stem from childhood sexual abuse, individuals are more likely to continue developing problems or experience worse symptoms from problems they may already be experiencing.
How is “Incest” Defined in Survivors of Incest Anonymous?
Because “incest” is defined very broadly in the program, it’s important for newcomers to know that it does not have to be a family member who was the perpetrator during the abuse. Perpetrators are considered anyone who has betrayed the child victim’s trust or violated their innocence, which can include close family friends, members of the church and more. Childhood sexual abuse is also not limited to penetration; it can include physical and verbal behaviors of any kind.
SIA Sponsorship
Another huge benefit of the program for members is to obtain a sponsorAn individual in a 12-step program requires a sponsor to help them work the steps and hold them accountable for their recovery. The sponsor should be readily available when help is needed. A member with a sponsor is considered to be the sponsee.. A sponsor is a longtime member who has worked the steps or is actively working the steps and is involved in the program. Working with a sponsor can help members find a person to confide in one-on-one, start building a healthy and trusting relationship with another individual, and share what is going on in their lives that they may not feel comfortable sharing12-step meetings are structured so that member sharing takes up most of the allotted time. It is the bread and butter of the fellowship between members. When sharing, addicts are encouraged to stay on topic and avoid interrupting by engaging in crosstalk. in meetings. Sponsors can provide information about the program, answer any questions, and share tools of recovery or possible solutions that they may have for newcomers, so that they can begin their healing process.
Why is Survivors of Incest Anonymous effective?
Although it may seem like there is nobody to talk to before coming into Survivors of Incest Anonymous, finding other people struggling with the same issues can help members build a strong support system to recover successfully. Handling survivor issues on their own is not recommended and while health professionals like counselors or therapists can help to some extent, Survivors of Incest Anonymous is empowering and gives members the courage they need to begin healing and changing unhealthy behaviors. Instead of forcing members to deal with the consequences of their childhood sexual abuse forever, individuals are encouraged to begin working on the issues and start living as survivors instead of victims.
How it Helps
Survivors of Incest Anonymous gives members a place to discuss their issues with explosive anger, depression, isolation, thoughts of suicide and more. For many members, discussing what has happened to them or how they are feeling now may have seemed impossible, even with a spouse or family member. Because of their inability to trust and share their feelings with others who may not understand, they began experiencing many troubled relationships. With the focus on recovery in the program, members are able to feel empowered and begin letting their secrets out, which is a crucial part of the recovery process. For many individuals in the past, they were forced to remain quiet about their past; this is not the case in Survivors of Incest Anonymous. Discussing the abuse and how it has impacted their lives is one of the few ways that members can begin the process of healing and recovery.
Some of the other issues that can arise for victims of childhood sexual abuse include drugA name for a wide variety of chemical substances capable of altering the function of your mind and body in significant ways. These can include over the counter prescriptions, alcohol, and controlled substances. Most drugs are either physically and/or psychologically habit-forming. addiction, alcoholism, sexual dysfunction, suicidal thoughts, inability to trust, phobias, and problems with intimacy. Until these issues are dealt with in the program, individuals can often begin feeling comfortable as the victim, try to take the blame on themselves or even defend their perpetrators, which are all unhealthy coping mechanisms. Through experience, strength and hope, members can begin to find new, healthy ways to cope, start sharing their stories with others and eventually, learn they are capable of healthy and loving relationships.
FAQs about Survivors of Incest Anonymous
Does Survivors of Incest Anonymous cost money?
There are no costs, dues or fees for membership to the program of Survivors of Incest Anonymous. The only requirement for membership is that you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse, that you desire to recover from it, and that you have not abused any child as an adult. The organization is fully self-supporting through their own contributions. Members are never obligated to contribute monetarily, but are encouraged to give what they can, when they can.
Is Survivors of Incest Anonymous religious?
The fellowshipThis refers to the members of AA and the bonds of support between them. It is this fellowship that allows addicts to share their stories and accept each other in a world that is not always understanding. of Survivors of Incest Anonymous is not religious in any way, shape or form. Although members are encouraged to find a higher power12-step programs greatly stress surrender to and daily communication with a Higher Power. Having trust in something greater than yourself is considered essential for returning sanity in the unmanageable life of an addict. This can be a traditional deity, a spiritual entity or a social one such as th... when working the steps of the program, it does not have to be called God or associated with any religious deity. It is important for members to identify their own concept of a higher power, as long as they understand that they are not the higher power themselves. The program is based on a spiritual foundation, not a religious one.
Where do I find a Survivors of Incest Anonymous meeting?
There are meetings available all over the world, which can be found on the meeting directory page on the official website. While some physical meetings are currently unavailable, it is important to call ahead or just check the website for virtual or telephone meetings. For individuals who want to find a local meeting or see what is available virtually, they can find the directory here.
What are the 12 promises of Survivors of Incest Anonymous?
Like other 12-step groups, such as Alcoholics AnonymousThe original 12-step fellowship, formed in 1935, to help alcoholics, regain control over their lives. It remains the largest 12-step organization and has contributed to the sobriety of millions worldwide. Read more about Alcoholics Anonymous, Survivors of Incest Anonymous has 12 promises that individuals begin to see coming true as they start working the steps, attending meetings and reading the literature of the program. Although some of these promises come true slower than others, many members begin to see positive changes over time.
1. We will finally know freedom, happiness and serenityOne of the goals of recovery in 12-steps and many other formats is the attainment of serenity. It is dissatisfaction and disquiet which often drives addictive and destructive behavior and attaining a level of serenity nips cravings in the bud. In 12-step fellowships, this is often cultivated through....
2. We will remember the past at last and walk freely away from it with our child intact.
3. We will comprehend the word “safety.”
4. We will know sleep without fear.
5. No matter how terrible the incest, nor how devastating its effects, we will recover and become whole again.
6. That feeling of hopelessness and self-condemnation will disappear.
7. We will lose our sense of toxic shameFeelings of shame and inadequacy often contribute both to the onset of addiction and its continuation. Addicts also often commit immoral acts, leading to further shame. This leads to a destructive shame-addiction cycle. Breaking the cycle is one of the keys to recovery. and gain self-respect.
8. Revulsion will slipA momentary loss of focus on the road to recovery which is quickly rectified. It differs from relapse, which suggests a complete return to pre-recovery patterns of behavior. away.
9. Our perpetrators will no longer have any power over us.
10. Fear of love and sexuality will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle intimacy.
12. We will suddenly realize that we are alive, lovely, whole, sane and safe.
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12 Steps of Survivors of Incest Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over the abuse, the effects of the abuse, and that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a loving Higher Power, greater than ourselves, could restore hope, healing and sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a loving Higher Power, as we understood that to be.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventoryStep 4 recommends the addict conduct “a searching and fearless moral inventory.” This involves coming to terms with the flaws which preceded addiction and those that came as a result of it. of ourselves, the abuse and its effects on our lives. We had no more secrets.
5. Admitted to a loving Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being, our strengths and weaknesses.
6. Were entirely ready to have a loving Higher Power help us remove all the debilitating consequences of the abuse, and became willing to treat ourselves with respect, compassion, and acceptanceAccepting an inability to cope with addiction alone, is a major part of the recovery process. The same process involves accepting our flaws, responsibility for our actions, and the need to surrender to a Higher Power..
7. Humbly and honestly asked a loving Higher Power to remove the unhealthy and self-defeating consequences stemming from the abuse.
8. Made a list of all the people we may have harmed (of our own free will), including ourselves and our Inner Child(ren), and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people where ever possible, except when to do so would result in physical, mental, emotional or spiritual harm to ourselves or others.
10. Continued to take responsibility for our own recovery, and when we found ourselves behaving in patterns still dictated by the abuse, promptly admitted it. When we succeed, we promptly enjoy it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contactBuilding a relationship with a Higher Power is a crucial element in recovery. This involves conscious contact with a Higher Power through prayer and meditation regularly. with ourselves and a loving Higher Power as we understood that to be, asking only for knowledge of its will for us and the power and courage to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other survivors and practice these principles in all our endeavors.
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12 Traditions of Survivors of Incest Anonymous
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one authority: a loving Higher Power, as this one may express her/himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for membership is that you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse, that you desire to recover from it, and that you have not abused any child as an adult.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting another group or SlA as a whole.
5. Each SIA group has but one primary purpose: to carry its message to the survivor of childhood sexual abuse who still suffers.
6. An SIA group ought never to endorse, finance, or lend the SIA name to any outside enterprise lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary objective.
7. SIA strives to be fully self-supporting and will not accept contributions that compromise SIA’s autonomy or mission.
8. Survivors of Incest Anonymous Twelve Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our serviceAA and other 12-step fellowships do not normally have employees. Instead, members volunteer and take roles necessary for the operation of the different groups and the larger infrastructure of the fellowship. Common roles of service include secretary, treasurer, and chairing meetings. centers may employ special workers.
9. Survivors of Incest Anonymous groups, as such, ought never be organized, but they may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. Survivors of Incest Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence, the SIA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. SIA public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymityAlcoholics Anonymous and all the 12 step groups modeled after it, protect the anonymity of its members. Members are forbidden from disclosing the identity of other addicts to outside sources or identifying themselves with the group on any form of public media. The idea behind this is to focus on the... at the level of press, radio, films and television.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
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