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12 Step Programs

What is a 12 Step Program?

If you are living an addictive life or even if you are just thinking about quitting your use of drugs or alcohol, you may have heard of working a 12 Step Program. Around ¾ of all addiction treatment centers in the United States use a 12 Step philosophy as a foundation for their treatment programs. With this being said, you might still be wondering – what exactly is a 12 step program?

Basis of the 12 Step Program

The basis of using a 12 step program is to help someone become abstinent from a harmful substance or behavior. They are able to do this by surrendering to their Higher Power. If you struggle with alcohol or drug abuse, you can interpret the Higher Power in any way that you wish. For some people, the Higher Power is God and for others, it is the Universe. Your Higher Power can be whatever allows you to let go of your struggles and ask for help from something bigger than yourself.

Various 12 Step Programs

There are different types of 12 Step programs for those who are struggling with substance abuse or addiction.

If you struggle with alcohol abuse or alcohol addiction, you might attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. 12 Step programs for alcoholism or alcohol abuse are designed to help people abstain from drinking and are designed to help people overcome addiction and live a sober lifestyle.

If you struggle with drug abuse or drug addiction, you might attend a Narcotics Anonymous meetings. These 12 Step programs are designed to help someone get clean from drugs and live a life free from drugs.

12 Step Program History

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in 1935. The 12 Step model was created by Bill Wilson & Dr. Bob. They wrote down the 12 step ideas that came from his own experience with alcoholism and his vision of this disease. He wrote how positive things can happen when someone shares their story of alcoholism with other alcoholics.

Bill Wilson wrote these ideas in what turned out to the the “Big Book”. The steps that are placed into this book were created through various concepts and teachings that Wilson had personally encountered.

During the crafting of the original 12 steps, a greater or Higher Power was sought, to help people who suffered from an alcohol or drug addiction.

Since the origin of the “Big Book”, millions of people have read it and used it to help them overcome their addiction. They have used it to help them change their behaviors and attitudes toward addiction. While originally based on alcohol addiction, various other forms of 12 Step programs exist. Some of these include Gamblers Anonymous – GA, Heroin Anonymous – HA, and Narcotics Anonymous – NA.

Today, there are 12 Step programs and meetings all around the world. There are even 12 Step meetings that you can attend online, as well.

Step 6 Contemplation

Step 6 – Becoming Ready to Have God Remove Our Defects

12 Steps / By / 3 minutes of reading

Step 6 comes after we have made a full inventory of our flaws and admitted them before ourselves, others and our Higher Power. After all you and others have suffered as a result of your addiction, and the deep and unforgiving self-examination of the previous steps: there should be plenty of things you want to change about yourself!

Becoming Ready to Have God Remove Defects of Character

At this point, we “were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” This is the natural progression from the admission that we are powerless over our addiction and the acceptance that only our Higher Power can help us break the hold addiction has on our lives.

In this step, we do not demand that our Higher Power remove our defects. Rather, we simply become and remain ready for the removal of our flaws. This means we vow to do the best we can to improve ourselves and to stop sabotaging ourselves with self-destructive behavior.

Of course, change does not happen magically overnight. We must be willing to patiently and slowly improve ourselves, with the help of our Higher Power. But we may be surprised at how much difference our willingness makes. After all, our Higher Power wants the best for us. It is our obstinate clinging to a destructive path which hampers recovery and makes us cling to our worst flaws.

Step 6 – Becoming Ready to Have God Remove Our Defects Read More »

5th Step and Admitting out Wrongs

Step 5 – The Importance of Admitting our Wrongs

12 Steps / By / 5 minutes of reading

In this step, we: “admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” The process of working this step is incredibly simple. We openly share the content of the fearless moral inventory made in the previous step, with another person, and with our Higher Power.

However, admitting to our worst deeds can be challenging and frightening. As human beings, we are very protective of our egos. We seek quite consciously to inflate our egos by feeling better about ourselves and avoid anything that will deflate it. But step 5, like many other steps in this program, forces us in the other direction. It brings out our humility. However, it is utterly essential. The shame we feel over our addiction and the actions we committed under its influence feed our destructive behavior.

We have essentially admitted our wrongs to ourselves in the previous steps, particularly in step 4. In step 5, we share the inventory we arrived at in the previous step. However, step 5 reminds us that this process is never fully complete. We must continue to examine our faults honestly and completely throughout this process. If this means we need to go back to the inventory of our flaws and misdeeds again, we should do so fearlessly before proceeding with the next step.

However, admitting our wrongs to ourselves is not enough. We now see our past with greater clarity and that is a step in the right direction. However, that also means we have more shame and pain to deal with. If we do not share the burden, we will continue to struggle with the shame of our past deeds alone.

Step 5 – The Importance of Admitting our Wrongs Read More »

4th Step - Searching and fearless moral inventory

Step 4 – Why it’s Important and What a ‘Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory’ Means

12 Steps / By / 5 minutes of reading

We did not end up with a serious addiction by living a perfect life and enjoying a flawless character.

In step 4 we look at our flaws and “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” This starts by looking at the root causes of our addiction and the damage we have done as a result. But as we delve deeper, we can also see that we have many other imperfections and have made morally questionable choices unrelated or peripherally related to our addiction.

Step 4 involves a voyage of self-discovery requiring a great deal of humility and honesty.

There are two opposing but equally treacherous dangers when working on your moral inventory. One is to let ourselves off too easily and blame all of our flaws and behavior either on other people or on the circumstance. Many addicts think that they are morally blameless because of their addiction, but ultimately no matter what the circumstances are, we are all responsible for our behavior and all of its consequences.

If we do not take full responsibility for our behavior, we will not own our recovery either. The 12-step process is built on acknowledging our wrongs, making amends for them, and improving the world around us by giving back. The ability to understand and acknowledge our flaws and wrongs is an essential step down that road.

Step 4 – Why it’s Important and What a ‘Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory’ Means Read More »

2nd Step in 12 Step Programs and What 'a Power Greater than Ourselves' Means

Step 2 – What ‘a Power Greater than Ourselves’ Means

12 Steps / By / 4 minutes of reading

The Big Book of AA and the other 12-step programs, describe step two as the process by which we “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

In the first step, we admit we are utterly powerless over our addiction. We saw that the life we had led thus far had led us to misery and desperation. Our attempts to solve this on our own had led us nowhere. It was time to pursue a new path.

The two first steps are about humility. We accept that we need help in our lives generally and in overcoming addiction specifically.

The successful completion of this step can have a dramatic effect on our lives from here on out. From a life where we believed in nothing but ourselves, we will embark on one where we believe in something higher. From a life of chaos, we will emerge with a plan and a reason to live and stay sober.

We had made an explicit admission of defeat in the previous step. Thankfully, the second is about the restoration of hope. Despite our inability to control our own life, our life is controllable. This is a constructive surrender rather than a destructive one. It is time to place control in the hands of a Great Power.

Step 2 – What ‘a Power Greater than Ourselves’ Means Read More »

First Step and What it Means to Admit Powerlessness in 12 Step Programs

Step 1 – What it Means to Admit Powerlessness

12 Steps / By / 3 minutes of reading

The Philosophy behind the First Step

The 1st step is an incredibly powerful one. As our problems with addiction grew, we hid them from others and ourselves. We pretended that we had the answers and could control our behavior. When we hurt others, we often blamed them. As we did so, our instincts and judgement led us astray over and over.

Our addiction has bled us dry. Many of us lost careers, marriages, friends, and ourselves as we succumbed.

Part of the problem is that we are taught to always remain in control and to win at all costs. Admitting you are a powerless addict seems like a form of defeat and something inside our very being rebels against that notion.

Don’t worry. This is only a partial admission of defeat. What you are admitting is that the means you have used so far to control your life have failed. But you are also getting ready to walk on a new path of recovery, one which will ultimately see you overcome and defeat addiction.

The 1st step is where we let go of this pathology. Our attempts to control our own lives have fallen short. When we fail to gain control, our instinct is to try to hold on to control even tighter. However, in this step we act counterintuitively and let go instead.

Step 1 – What it Means to Admit Powerlessness Read More »

3rd Step and the Third Step Prayer

Step 3 – The 3rd Step Prayer of AA & NA

12 Steps / By / 11 minutes of reading

The primary means by which any 12-step fellowship encourages its members to approach sobriety is by methodically working the steps. The 3rd step is a massive one, ending the early stages of the steps. As recounted in the Big Book of AA, this step calls on members to have “decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.”

This is a highly significant moment. In the first two steps, we admitted our lives had become unmanageable and that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity. We saw that we have not been good for ourselves. Instead of making good and healthy decisions, we have constantly tripped ourselves up. We realized in this process that we needed to get out of our way. It was time to, according to a well-worn AA saying to “let go and let God.”

Here we take that knowledge and apply it. This is why the third step is considered the first “action step.” The first two, involve a crucial process of acceptance, contemplation, and reflection. Meanwhile, the third step involves the act of surrendering some of our most destructive behavior in favor of a healthy and productive relationship with a Higher Power.

We cease clinging to our attempt to control our own lives, which have led us to increasingly dark places in our lives. Instead, we allow ourselves to believe in and follow the path intended for us by the Higher Power we have chosen.

Step 3 – The 3rd Step Prayer of AA & NA Read More »

The 9th Step and the 9th Step Promises

Step 9 – The 9th Step Promises and Making Amends

12 Steps / By / 6 minutes of reading

The 9th step is the culmination of the inventory we have made of our flaws. In the throes of our addiction, we may have committed a litany of moral and ethically indefensible actions. We have stolen, cheated, lied, betrayed, assaulted, or abused others. By the time we reach this step, we should be able to identify, recognize, and take responsibility for these actions.

With the realization of how deeply we have hurt others through our addiction, we understand that amends must be made. In this step, we attempt to remove some of the debris created in the past through our actions.

We complete the step when we have “made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” The book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions tells us that we are ready to work this step when we have attained: “the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”

For many recovering addicts, this is the most difficult step to accomplish. In working most steps, we work with ourselves and our reliable partners: our Higher Power, sponsor, and group. The 9th step brings in many unpredictable people. Some of whom we have seriously harmed. It is perfectly understandable to be apprehensive and anxious about their response Maybe they hate us? Maybe they want revenge?

As recovering addicts, we fear the loss of control we experienced in our darkest days. This step is accompanied by the terrible realization that we have no control over the response of the people we have harmed. We will likely have wonderful experiences and very difficult ones.

However, we must proceed for two reasons. First, this is not about us. At least not fully. It is about other people. It is about the people we have hurt in the past. However, it is equally designed for the people in your life now and in the future. By facing the consequences of our previous actions, we become more aware of the terrible cost of our behavior. This will make us less likely to take equally destructive actions in the future. Working the steps has likely made you a less selfish and self-centered individual. This step will reinforce that trend significantly.

Second, this will make you feel a lot better than you realize. As addicts, we walk around with a tremendous amount of shame and guilt regarding our actions. As a result, we think of ourselves as flawed and immoral people. We feel like we are unable to be happy and do not deserve happiness anyway. The self-flagellation involved makes us more likely to relapse than anything else.

Step 9 – The 9th Step Promises and Making Amends Read More »

12 step AA meeting concept

Different Types of AA Meetings – Meeting Types Explained

12 Step Meetings, Alcoholics Anonymous / By / 5 minutes of reading

When you imagine going to AA meetings, you may think of a fairly simple set up. People introducing themselves as alcoholics and telling their stories. Indeed, the official purpose of AA meetings is for members to “share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.” Almost all meetings have certain characteristics in common. The serenity prayer starts the proceedings. Some AA material is read and people share. Finally, there is almost always coffee involved!

However, aside from these common characteristics, meetings can differ greatly. Indeed, as the fellowship has grown and evolved, different types of meetings have been pioneered to suit its growing needs. Here are the main types of meetings currently open to attendance.

Different Types of AA Meetings – Meeting Types Explained Read More »

Nature as a Higher Power

The 12 Step Program “Higher Power”: What is it and how do you choose one?

12 Step Programs / By / 5 minutes of reading

The concept of having a Higher Power to guide us is an integral part of the 12-step vision of recovery. Indeed, six of the steps deal directly with the relationship between members and God. This concept serves a crucial purpose in the process. Recovery involves a realization that our own best judgment has derailed our lives and led us to an unmanageable state. To pursue a better path in the future, we humbly put our life path in the hands of greater power. This process is at the core of the first two-steps.

The program encourages not only belief in a Higher Power, but rather forming a spiritual relationship with that entity which is an integral part of our lives. Many of us fall into addiction and relapse because we feel powerless and lose our self-esteem. The cultivation of a daily relationship with our Higher Power can restore meaning to our lives. We do this through daily meditation and prayer. Prayer helps us talk to our Higher Power, while meditation helps us listen. This is the essence of step 11.

A deep spiritual connection with a Higher Power also helps alleviate some of the core causes of addiction: loneliness and isolation. The importance of this aspect of recovery cannot be stressed enough. Once the steps are completed, we know our place in the world and that our Higher Power cares for us. For many of us, knowing we are being watched over makes us feel part of something important. Knowing that we have a place in this world and that we aren’t alone can motivate us to quit drinking or using it. This can be a key part of recovery.

The 12 Step Program “Higher Power”: What is it and how do you choose one? Read More »

Online 12 step meetings

List of Online (Virtual) 12 Step Meetings for Each 12 Step Program

12 Step Meetings / By / 4 minutes of reading

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, many addicts are struggling to find the help they get from meetings while under these special circumstances. Even without the requirements of staying home or having to quarantine, going out and being around groups of people may not be the best idea for individuals who are susceptible to getting sick. Regardless of the reason, it is important for members of 12-step fellowships to continue attending meetings as regularly and often as possible.

Thankfully, there are solutions to these problems. The virtual meetings that are taking place online or on the phone allow 12-step program members to still share their experiences, strengths and hopes and continue to recover in the comfort of their own home. Similar to in-person meetings, anonymity remains and these virtual meetings are set in place to allow a safe meeting ground for addicts in recovery. Some of these meetings can occur on the telephone, Zoom, social media and more. Whatever is the most comfortable way for members to reach out to one another, finding these meeting grounds is crucial to recovery.

List of Online (Virtual) 12 Step Meetings for Each 12 Step Program Read More »

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