What is CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous?
The 12-step program of CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous was formed as an aftereffect of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. The group was designed to help the individuals who are suffering not as addicts themselves, but for those who are dealing with sex and love addicts. The fellowshipThis refers to the members of AA and the bonds of support between them. It is this fellowship that allows addicts to share their stories and accept each other in a world that is not always understanding. was created for individuals over the age of 18 who have been affected by the behaviors of someone who is addicted to love and sex.
Although the members of CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous are not addicts themselves, being negatively impacted by the behaviors of a family, friend, or significant other who suffers from these problems can be detrimental to their happiness. For newcomers, if a loved one is engaging in behaviors such as excessive attendance to strip clubs, Internet sex and porn, phone sex or infidelity, CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous can help.
How is CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous effective?
The purpose of the fellowship is to help individuals find happier ways to live because their happiness is being affected by someone close to them who addicted to sex and love. Even if they are not addicts themselves, addressing their own attitudes and beliefs will help improve their quality of life and help find solutions to some of their problems today. The programThis refers to any official course of treatment for addiction. This could be anything from in-patient facilities, to 12-step programs to harm-reduction programs. brings people together who are suffering from similar issues, so finding a safe place to discuss these issues with other people can be crucial to recoveryThe process by which addicts attempt to break the hold a certain substance or behavior has on their lives. This can refer to participation in a wide variety of methods. What they all have in common, is a sense that life is improving and the addict is regaining control..
AnonymityAlcoholics Anonymous and all the 12 step groups modeled after it, protect the anonymity of its members. Members are forbidden from disclosing the identity of other addicts to outside sources or identifying themselves with the group on any form of public media. The idea behind this is to focus on the... is followed in CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous, so everything that is discussed in the meetings will not be shared with anyone else. Because it can be difficult to talk about these issues with people who aren’t in the same boat, CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous brings these individuals together to let them know that they are not alone. Since 12-step programs have proven to be successful for many other self-help groups, CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous focuses on following a 12-step process to help individuals recover.
How does CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous work?
CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous is not for individuals who suffer from sex and love addiction themselves, but rather for those who have a close family memberAn individual who attends 12-step program meetings and has the desire to overcome addiction., friend, or loved one suffering from this diseaseSome refer to addiction as a disease, comparing it to physical ailments. There are similarities, as both have a detrimental influence on body and soul and are treatable through medical means.. The program changes the focus for members so that they have an opportunity to work on themselves rather than the addictAn individual with an unhealthy dependence on a substance or behavior. An individual remains an addict even years into recovery and must therefore remain active in recovery. Read more about drug & alcohol addiction & withdrawal at Withdrawal Info. they are close with. When dealing with a sex and love addict, it can be easy to get caught up in causing, controlling or trying to cure the addict, so the program is intended to help address the issues that they are suffering from instead. Addressing current thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, such as betrayal or abandonment, can help members switch gears and begin finding solutions for themselves, even if their loved one is still active in their addiction.
The program works by providing members 12 steps to begin the recovery process, which allows them to detach from the addicts behavior and start healing themselves. Although the individuals in the program are not addicts themselves, they can still find a way to “get sober.” For members of CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous, sobrietyIn 12-step programs, an individual is sober when they are no longer partaking in the behavior or substance to which they are addicted and living a better life following the program. Both are necessary to achieve sobriety. is defined as dealing with the disease of sex addiction and their codependent behaviors to the addiction. The first step provides members the chance to admit their powerlessness over codependency to a sex and love addict.
Working the program requires going through the 12 steps, which can be done much easier by finding a sponsor who has one year or more of sobriety in the fellowship. Once members begin working the steps, attending meetings regularly and building a support system in the fellowship can move forward in the healing and recovery process.
FAQs about CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous
How CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous meetings are started
Starting a CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting can be simple if there isn’t one available nearby. Meeting formats are available here. Once a meeting has been scheduled, letting the helpline know at 860-456-0032 or posting a message on the official website with contact information can help get the meeting spread to other members in the program. For a meeting to begin, it only requires two members of the CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous fellowship. The only purpose for a meeting should be to help others who are dealing with someone addicted to sex and love.
What are the costs for CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous?
Like all other 12-step programs, there are no costs, dues or fees for membership. The only requirement for members to join the program is a desire to stop living in a pattern of codependency and sex and love addiction. The fellowship is self-supporting through their own contributions while declining outside contributions, so members are encouraged to share when they can but are never required to.
Is the program of CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous religious?
The fellowship is not religious in any way, shape or form. Step 3 of the program allows members to find a higher power12-step programs greatly stress surrender to and daily communication with a Higher Power. Having trust in something greater than yourself is considered essential for returning sanity in the unmanageable life of an addict. This can be a traditional deity, a spiritual entity or a social one such as th... greater than themselves to restore them to sanity, but the word God is simply used as a description for a higher power. It is up to the individual to find what they consider to be a higher power than themselves. The concept is independent of each member.
What are the gifts of long term sobriety in the program?
Some of the gifts that members have found after obtaining long term sobriety in CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous include:
- Living full in the moment, being present.
- Living a life free of shameFeelings of shame and inadequacy often contribute both to the onset of addiction and its continuation. Addicts also often commit immoral acts, leading to further shame. This leads to a destructive shame-addiction cycle. Breaking the cycle is one of the keys to recovery. and blame.
- Greater self acceptanceAccepting an inability to cope with addiction alone, is a major part of the recovery process. The same process involves accepting our flaws, responsibility for our actions, and the need to surrender to a Higher Power. and being able to do amends when we have hurt others with our behaviors.
- Being able to set boundaries clearly and timely.
- Communicating our thoughts and feelings effectively with increased self esteem and passion.
- Recognizing triggers that bring relapseRelapse in the context of 12-step programs refers to the act of reverting to harmful behaviors associated with addiction after a period of recovery. This return to substance use or compulsive behavior disrupts the recovery process and often leads to a resurgence of destructive patterns that the indi... behaviors and how to learn healthier responses.
- Sponsorship and serviceAA and other 12-step fellowships do not normally have employees. Instead, members volunteer and take roles necessary for the operation of the different groups and the larger infrastructure of the fellowship. Common roles of service include secretary, treasurer, and chairing meetings. work to carry the messageThe 12th step advises addicts to “carry the message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.” This involves taking on service work, helping newcomers, being sponsors, and living a full and sober life. of hope and healing to newcomers.
- Repairing our part in our relationships by using the sober behaviors we are learning.
- Being able to embrace one’s past and not want to shut the door on it, but weave it into one’s healing.
- Living a day at a time with more serenityOne of the goals of recovery in 12-steps and many other formats is the attainment of serenity. It is dissatisfaction and disquiet which often drives addictive and destructive behavior and attaining a level of serenity nips cravings in the bud. In 12-step fellowships, this is often cultivated through..., acceptance and grace.
What are the 12 steps of CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous?
1. We admitted we were powerless over our codependency to a sex and love addict, and our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventoryStep 4 recommends the addict conduct “a searching and fearless moral inventory.” This involves coming to terms with the flaws which preceded addiction and those that came as a result of it. of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God and to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others or ourselves.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contactBuilding a relationship with a Higher Power is a crucial element in recovery. This involves conscious contact with a Higher Power through prayer and meditation regularly. with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in our day to day living.
-coslaa.org/12-steps
What are the 12 Traditions of CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous?
1. Our common welfare should come first, personal recovery depends upon unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority-a loving God as this Power may be expressed through our group conscience.
3. The only requirement for COSLAA membership is a desire to stop living our a pattern of co(dependency)-sex and love addiction. The relatives, friends, and significant others, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves a COSLAA group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting another group, or COSLAA or SLAA as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose-to help families, friends, and significant others of sex and love addicts. We do this by practicing the Twelve StepsThe term "12 steps" refers to the core principles of the approach to addiction exemplified by Alcoholics Anonymous and other similar groups. The 12 steps are a set of guidelines designed to help individuals overcome addiction and rebuild their lives. They were created by the founders of Alcoholics A... of COSLAA ourselves and by welcoming and giving comfort to the relatives, friends, and significant others of sex and love addicts.
6. A COSLAA group or COSLAA as a whole ought never endorse, finance, or lend the COSLAA name or SLAA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, or prestige divert us from our primary purpose. Although a separate entity, we should strive to cooperate with SLAA.
7. Every COSLAA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. COSLAA should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. COSLAA as such ought never to be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. COSLAA has no opinion on outside issues; hence the COSLAA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than on promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, film and other public media.
We need guard with special care the anonymity of all fellow COSLAA members.12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
-coslaa.org/12-traditions-2