What is Sex Addicts Anonymous?
The fellowshipThis refers to the members of AA and the bonds of support between them. It is this fellowship that allows addicts to share their stories and accept each other in a world that is not always understanding. of Sex Addicts Anonymous is a 12-step recoveryThe process by which addicts attempt to break the hold a certain substance or behavior has on their lives. This can refer to participation in a wide variety of methods. What they all have in common, is a sense that life is improving and the addict is regaining control. program for individuals who suffer from sex addiction. Anyone is welcome to attend meetings as long as they have the desire to stop their addictive sexual behaviors. The programThis refers to any official course of treatment for addiction. This could be anything from in-patient facilities, to 12-step programs to harm-reduction programs. is intended for individuals of any sexual orientation, race, age, ethnic background, religion, occupation and more. Although the program has no affiliation with Alcoholics AnonymousThe original 12-step fellowship, formed in 1935, to help alcoholics, regain control over their lives. It remains the largest 12-step organization and has contributed to the sobriety of millions worldwide. Read more about Alcoholics Anonymous, it utilizes the same 12-step format and principles of recovery, as they have been successful in other self-help groups and made recovery possible for addicts of all kinds.
There is not much known about the history of Sex Addicts Anonymous. The organization was started sometime in 1977 by several men, who had attended self-help groups but did not feel the sense of anonymityAlcoholics Anonymous and all the 12 step groups modeled after it, protect the anonymity of its members. Members are forbidden from disclosing the identity of other addicts to outside sources or identifying themselves with the group on any form of public media. The idea behind this is to focus on the... that the roomsA common 12-step moniker for the place where meetings are held. It can also refer to the atmosphere and fellowship in meetings. of 12-step recovery programs offered. A lot of the literature for Sex Addicts Anonymous, including “Sex Addicts Anonymous,” “Sex Addicts Anonymous – Pathway to Recovery,” and “AbstinenceThe act of not partaking in the substance or activity to which a member is addicted. The length of sobriety of addicts is determined following the period of abstinence.,” is available online to view and purchase. A digital newsletter, titled “The Outer Circle,” is also available on the official website, dating back to a copy from 1989.
How does Sex Addicts Anonymous work?
One of the most notable tools of recovery that can be found solely in Sex Addicts Anonymous is the three-circle method to model their behaviors. In the three ring circle, there is an inner circle, an outer circle and a middle circle. The inner circle begins with the compulsive behaviorsThese are behaviors in engaging in due to a strong urge to do so. Compulsion may be difficult to control but is mostly manageable. If compulsion turns into addiction, the problem becomes more severe. that are to be avoided, such as sex with prostitutes or nonconsenting individuals. The outer circle includes sexual and nonsexual behaviors that are healthy, such as sex with partners or spouses. The middle circle includes behaviors that are not acted upon but could result in a relapseRelapse in the context of 12-step programs refers to the act of reverting to harmful behaviors associated with addiction after a period of recovery. This return to substance use or compulsive behavior disrupts the recovery process and often leads to a resurgence of destructive patterns that the indi..., such as hanging out with old partners or looking for a prostitute.
One of the reasons Sex Addicts Anonymous is so helpful for individuals is because they are responsible for creating their own personalized list of compulsive sexual behaviors, allowing them to obtain “sobrietyIn 12-step programs, an individual is sober when they are no longer partaking in the behavior or substance to which they are addicted and living a better life following the program. Both are necessary to achieve sobriety.” in their own way. Each memberAn individual who attends 12-step program meetings and has the desire to overcome addiction. of the program is respectful of whatever the individual is recovering from and there is never any judgement from existing members. All individuals of the program attend meetings to achieve the same goal: the desire to stop addictive sexual behavior.
In meetings of Sex Addicts Anonymous, members can find a safe, nonthreatening environment to share their common problems and try to find solutions from other members in the rooms. For many of these individuals, there was nowhere left for them to go and discuss some of these issues that left them feeling hopeless and lost. Sex Addicts Anonymous provided a place for them to talk freely, openly and honestly about their addiction and begin finding the tools to recover from their compulsive sexual behaviors. Members also have the option to choose what types of meetings they want to attend. If at all a preference, men are able to attend men-only meetings and women are able to attend women-only meetings.
Attending meetings and reading the literature are several ways members are able to begin abstaining from their mental addiction to sex and compulsive sexual behaviors. Another suggestion for new members is to obtain a sponsorAn individual in a 12-step program requires a sponsor to help them work the steps and hold them accountable for their recovery. The sponsor should be readily available when help is needed. A member with a sponsor is considered to be the sponsee. in the program. A sponsor is an individual who has longtime sexual sobriety, has worked the 12 stepsThe term "12 steps" refers to the core principles of the approach to addiction exemplified by Alcoholics Anonymous and other similar groups. The 12 steps are a set of guidelines designed to help individuals overcome addiction and rebuild their lives. They were created by the founders of Alcoholics A... or is actively working them, and has tools of recovery to share with others who are working the steps. Newcomers are encouraged to listen to other members’ stories and decide if they can relate to the individual who they want as their sponsor. Sponsors can recommend suggestions, such as which meetings to attend and which literature to begin reading first. Sponsors can also provide more information about the program, answer any questions and be available to potentially help in troublesome situations. While sponsors are not doctors or therapists, they do their best to share solutions and suggestions based on what they have experienced and learned.
Why is Sex Addicts Anonymous effective?
One of the reasons that Sex Addicts Anonymous is so effective for its members is because of the 12-step recovery process used. Sex addiction is a mental illness; it is a diseaseSome refer to addiction as a disease, comparing it to physical ailments. There are similarities, as both have a detrimental influence on body and soul and are treatable through medical means. that will progressively get worse over time and the consequences will continue to become more severe until the problems are addressed. Members must accept that they will never be perfect or cure themselves of sex addiction, but rather be able to find happiness and serenityOne of the goals of recovery in 12-steps and many other formats is the attainment of serenity. It is dissatisfaction and disquiet which often drives addictive and destructive behavior and attaining a level of serenity nips cravings in the bud. In 12-step fellowships, this is often cultivated through... and arrest their addiction.
As members continue attending meetings and working the steps, their serenity and sobriety in the program will grow. Members will begin Finding new ways to cope with stress and emotional problems, rebuild friends and relationships that were pushed aside because of their addiction, and see an increase in their self esteem and moral values. Before joining the fellowship, many members felt these destructive behaviors and negative feelings defined them and kept them alive, while that isn’t the case.
The program of Sex Addicts Anonymous gives members freedom from their addiction and obsession with sex, the chance to surrender their defects, and become less fearful and happier with their lives. Because the urge of compulsion can be much stronger than the will to resist, willpower alone is not enough to arrest this disease. Sex Addicts Anonymous gives members the tools and solutions they need to manage their addiction.
Does the program cost money?
There are no dues, fees or costs to join the fellowship of Sex Addicts Anonymous. The group is self-supporting through their own contributions and never accepts outside donations of any kind. The only requirement for members to join the program is the desire to stop sexually addictive behavior. For members wanting to contribute, they are able to do so at meetings, but it is never a requirement. Members are encouraged to give what they can, when they can.
Is the program religious?
The fellowship of Sex Addicts Anonymous is not a religious program, it is a spiritual one. It is up to each individual to choose their own concept of a higher power12-step programs greatly stress surrender to and daily communication with a Higher Power. Having trust in something greater than yourself is considered essential for returning sanity in the unmanageable life of an addict. This can be a traditional deity, a spiritual entity or a social one such as th... to help them increase their spiritual awareness and help them overcome the challenges and obstacles they may face in sobriety. A higher power can not only help members recover from sex addiction, but it can be used in their daily lives and activities as well.
Where can I find a meeting?
While there are still face-to-face meetings available, many Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings have been switched to virtual options. There is a meeting directory available on the official website, which allows individuals to find a time and day that is convenient for them. Each meeting available has details beside it, such as whether it is an open meetingMeetings open to the general public. These are useful for giving friends and relatives an idea of what goes on in and recovery and increasing the legitimacy of 12-step fellowships., a men or women only meeting, or whether or not it requires a contact prior to attendance. The list of meetings can be found here.
How do I know if I am a sex addictAn individual with an unhealthy dependence on a substance or behavior. An individual remains an addict even years into recovery and must therefore remain active in recovery. Read more about drug & alcohol addiction & withdrawal at Withdrawal Info.?
Identifying a problem with sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior can only be done by each individual. Before attending meetings, newcomers can decide for themselves whether or not they feel like Sex Addicts Anonymous is the place for them. If individuals answer “yes” to at least one question on the list, the fellowship recommends that they attend a meeting or possibly read more on sex addiction to help them make a decision.
- Do you keep secrets about your sexual behavior or romantic fantasies from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
- Have your desires driven you to have sex in places or with people you would not normally choose?
- Do you need greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or relief?
- Does your use of pornography occupy large amounts of time and/or jeopardize your significant relationships or employment?
- Do your relationships become distorted with sexual preoccupation? Does each new relationship have the same destructive pattern which prompted you to leave the last one?
- Do you frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex? Do you feel remorse, shameFeelings of shame and inadequacy often contribute both to the onset of addiction and its continuation. Addicts also often commit immoral acts, leading to further shame. This leads to a destructive shame-addiction cycle. Breaking the cycle is one of the keys to recovery., or guilt after a sexual encounter?
- Have your sexual practices caused you legal problems? Could your sexual practices cause you legal problems?
- Does your pursuit of sex or sexual fantasy conflict with your moral standards or interfere with your personal spiritual journey?
- Do your sexual activities involve coercion, violence, or the threat of disease?
- Has your sexual behavior or pursuit of sexual relationships ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
- Does your preoccupation with sexual fantasies cause problems in any area of your life – even when you do not act out your fantasies?
- Do you compulsively avoid sexual activity due to fear of sex or intimacy? Does your sexual avoidance consume you mentally?